"Inspiration Room?" It's a 'Woman Cave,' really - by Mike Harden - The Columbus Dispatch

In the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the character Maria Portokalos defines the never-changing dynamic between spouses when she responds to the contention "A man is the head of the house" as follows:

"The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants."

I was reminded anew of that while reading a story in T he Dispatch Home & Garden section several days ago that detailed the efforts of local builders to design homes that are more "woman-centric."

Unfamiliar as I was with the term, I felt driven to take the quiz offered on the Web site of Virginia Homes to determine which female personality type best represents me: Margo, Elise, Claire or Maggie.

Among other questions, I was asked my favorite flower group, how I would spend $1,000 at a jewelry store and whether my hairstyle is better defined by "trend-driven" or "experimental." My hairstyle is experimental only when winds exceed 25 mph.

The quiz was not unlike the first five minutes with a psychic who is angling for a big tip. No one at Virginia Homes is going to tell you that you flunked their quiz and would probably be more comfortable in "manufactured housing."

The quiz was merely an oblique method of acknowledging the central truth that, when it comes to buying a home, women call the shots. That's because a man would rather stab himself in the eye with a white-hot weenie fork than answer the question, "For the carpet in the walk-in closet, would you prefer taupe, oatmeal or buff?"

The genius of the woman-centric marketing ploy is in the recognition that men and women aren't miles apart on what comprises a well-

designed home, but women would prefer to own the naming rights. And the more buoyantly euphemistic, the better.

The home depicted in our newspaper's story about woman-centric design featured a "rear foyer" separating the garage from the balance of the house. A guy would call it a mudroom, which is what it is.

The woman-centric home also boasts a "flex room," which is what guys would call "that other room" because of confusion about its lack of clear definition.

The jewel of the woman-centric home, however, is the "inspiration room," which in the showcased model featured earth tones, muted lighting and the Chinese characters representing happiness, peace, love and luck. If I built houses and wanted to reward the person who calls all the shots in homebuying with a room of her own, I'd call it an "inspiration room," too. But we all know what it is. It's a woman-

centric "man cave."

Women have been waiting for years for their version of the man cave. Truth be told, the entire woman-centric-design ruse is really about nothing so much as giving women their cave.

I don't begrudge them that. Moreover, now that I know that my latent-feminine personality is Maggie, I can't wait for Margo, Elise and Claire to invite me up to the inspiration room for some Texas Hold 'Em.

Retired columnist Mike Harden writes Wednesday and Sunday Metro columns.